A love letter to the women seeking abortions
I am an abortion doula. It is my job to be by the sides of women getting abortions. I talk to them about their choice, I counsel about the procedure, and I hold their hand while they get the abortion. I wipe tears from some, smile and laugh with others. I’m here to recognize and acknowledge what you are going through, and make this scary thing, less scary, and more loving and nurturing. I’ve learned a few things as an abortion doula and there are some things that I would like you to know.
First, I want to you know you are a good person. This is a life changing choice, no matter what choice you make. Choosing this choice doesn’t make you evil, it makes you human. It’s okay to not become a parent so you can go to school, finish school, travel the world, take care of children you already have, become financially stable, or even just because you don’t ever want children. When you are allowed to choose when and if you parent, you are creating the best you, and our community and world benefit.
Second, you are not alone. 1 in 3 women will get an abortion in their lifetime. I did. You would be amazed how many people you know who have had one. Unfortunately abortion is rarely talked about. We feel scared to share our stories; afraid of being judged by the people we love. But chances are you know more then one woman who has been where you are.
Third, you are stronger then this hard. Trust in yourself. You will get through it. Women have been making this choice since the beginning of time. We are strong and capable of choosing our destiny.
Four, its okay if this choice is not sad and tragic for you. And it’s okay if you feel grief and sadness. We all come to our abortions from very different places. There are a hundred million reasons women get abortions. What’s important is we respect each other’s choices, even if we wouldn’t make the same choices. That’s what choice is about.
Five, you are not forgotten. Your words, your emotions, your strength, your laughter, smiles and tears stay with me. You have changed me. I may not remember your name (I can’t even remember my kids names) but I remember you. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. It’s been an honor being your abortion doula.
An Abortion Doula